Holy crap you turned closed captions on! So, basically, this boss run is done
without special power ups or using the
Arrow Flash attack. This includes no speed ups.
Obviously, stages were not played like this,
I simply kill myself off when I reach the boss. This requires entirely new strategies
(or at least better timing) to
defeat these things, and the fights last a
fair bit longer. Of course some bosses are still pretty easy. This strategy requires good timing, but…. … wow.
I didn’t even get chance to commentate that one. I find this particular boss easier up close
than further away.
Your mileage may vary. Right from this point, the battles are
no longer quick! With all the power ups, this next boss is
borderline the hardest battle in the game. Without, there is a much deadlier one in here.
But I digress. To boss 2! Funky boss music is funky. Hey, he’s a big fella. Alright! Two things to bare in mind in this battle! First of all – when he rams you –
GO UNDERNEATH. That little protusion from the top
of the ship will kill you if it hits you, even if you’re
at the very left of the screen. The next trick? Stupidly enough, the easiest way
to dodge his spread gun
is to stay level with his core. I don’t know any safe method to get through this next
attack, so I take the pussy way out and run. Otherwise,
Stay level with core – shoot, go underneath him.
Wash, rinse, repeat. Is it just me or does the front of his
ship resemble little heads? Or am I just too used to having to use my
imagination for video games? :p Not that hard a boss when his pattern is figured out. Almost dead. The ship itself doesn’t have much health at all. Oh dear. Did I just fire a missile
into an exhaust port? Catch ya later buddy. This is why it isn’t a good idea for ship
builders to rip off Gradius Bosses.
Big Glowing weakpoints do not a strong ship make. Yes I’m going to include each of these. This next boss is also easier than it looks. Basic strategy here: Move down when the arm
comes up, and quickly dash back
before his wave beam hits you. I always love bosses with tails.
Except the final boss from Bio-Metal. That thing was a complete and utter pillock. Yeah this boss isn’t really that interesting.
The Mecha design is.. unusual though. Looks like a Witch to me. With that beak nose and.. stuff. “Watch the arm little ship.” “You are feeling very sleepy.” “Very sleepy.” “Think back to your childhood.” “Now, when I snap my fingers,
you will believe you are a chicken.” “Haha, now to unleash my special attack!” “WTF HE DODGED?!” “That little ship haxxors.” “Hypnosis always works int’ movies!” “Bloody buggering hell!!!” “He shot my arm off!” “Who the hell shoots people’s arms off anyway!?” “You’re a dick little ship. A utter dick!
I’m going home.” Now. This next boss nearly ended the run.
For god’s sake, do not attempt this boss
underpowered, without using the Arrow Flash. Or get a turbo controller.
Or use savestates constantly.
Or tool assist. Hell even a controller would’ve been helpful!
In other words. I’m an idiot. And fought this
thing the hard way. You also want to be the little Mecha, as that form has
slightly faster Vertical speed than the Ship does. You also want to be the little Mecha, as that form has
slightly faster Vertical speed than the Ship does. Ok. So. This boss.
Oh. My. God. This isn’t so much a hard battle as it takes
absolutely forever. It wears you down. This is mostly due to the fact
it’s weakpoint is TINY and it’s protected by a
long invulnerable neck. Now, see that little red gem in the bosses’s chest?
That’s the weakpoint.
Hitting it anywhere else will destroy your bullet. You will begin to see why this is a problem. I had to mash the fire button in order to get an
additional shot in. That extra shot over rapidfire
makes all the difference. Ok to dodge it’s fire wave attack, you need to
be here. It will miss you.
You need to reconise when it’s going to pull this off. You could also be in the gap below it, but I found
this harder to line up. To actually get any hits in, you also need to be this
close. If you are too far away,
I guarantee you will not hurt the thing. Even now, I only hit it every so often.
If I wasn’t rapidly pressing the fire button,
I would hit it even less. Ok it’s about to do a different firewave
attack. As soon as the first fire wave has passed you, go down.
Like. Immediately. Right. Ok. So, you now have two more
firewaves to kill this thing. On the next twin firewave attack, it also fires
a spread of bullets, between the gaps of the first
firewave. I have never been able to dodge this. The irony is – you can kill this thing
with a single Arrow Flash attack.
But where is the fun in that? Wooo!! It’s dead!
Hurrah! OH GOD IT HAS TWO FORMS. Now. I apologise in advance for the
absolutely cowardly way I fight this
form. I did not want to die. The basic strategy here is to stay in the
middle of the screen.
Staying on the left will get you killed. The next thing is to learn how
it flies. It moves in a predictable
pattern. Learn when it is safe to fire at it. It is possible to get multiple shots
in between the bosses’s shots.
But.. I’m a coward.
So I don’t do this. I generally don’t attack when it’s at the bottom.
Your ship isn’t fast enough to
get down there and get away in time to live. … so enjoy the protracted battle! Brave Sir Robin ran away. Bravely ran away, away! When danger reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled. Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about And gallantly he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet He beat a very brave retreat, Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin! Thank god that is over. Hey Monty Python references are cool. Don’t worry, the other battles aren’t quite that long. Say hello to an old friend. Hi! Guy from Stage 2!
Welcome back! You know what?
The Battle has exactly the same strategy as
before. Funny that. Actually, I think this guy is even easier
than his stage 2 counterpart. As always, that bullet spread looks nasty,
but it really isn’t that hard to dodge. And as before, that protrusion at the top
of the ship will crush you on the side of
the screen. And as before, I chicken out at this attack. For once, I could go above him. This
doesn’t happen often. Actually, at this low speed, that was
a pretty stupid move. The coreship has more health than the
previous boss, but overall it is balanced out, at
least with the basic weapon. Heh, I’m getting flashbacks to Big Core here.
The strategy to this fight is almost
exactly the same! Come on, die already! Boss with alot of HP has alot of HP. I sort of get what they’re going for here.
In this version of the battle, other other weapons aren’t as
effective as they were to the previous fight. Since in the other battle, most of it’s health
is stored in the front of the ship rather than the core,
and they wouldn’t stop the other weapons. I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts. Oi. I was just starting to get silly. Don’t you
want to read me recite the second greatest
song of all time? Don’t make me bring the word. That was boss 1 of stage 5! Er. I forgot to edit this out. Sorrwee. Alright it’s this combo-boss! In all it’s badly animated glory! So the strategy here is pretty much the same
as boss 3, only you’ve got less space to move in,
and you’re at the bottom. What you do need to be aware of is when the
UFO is going to try and ram you. You don’t get much warning. Therefore you should try to
stay close to the mecha. As far as I can tell, it will only drop on
you in that area of the screen. I could be wrong, but that’s what it’s done
every time i’ve fought it. Believe it or not this boss actually has
another attack! This one can be hard to survive,
but there is a fairly simple way to trick the AI. IT’S MORPHING TIME! The trick here is to goto the lowest point of the
screen and slowly tap left, to inch your way
across. This will confuse the boss. Normally it tries to follow you to the
side of the screen but it just
sort of gives up here. And now back to “Big Dumb Mechs
that Forget How to Look Down!” It’s only the greatest reality show
this side of the quadrent! As you can see there. It landed in the
exact same place as before. I like how the mecha politely doesn’t
shoot it’s partner as the twonk piloting the
UFO “tries” to kill you. Good few, if risky, shots there. And don’t ask why I sometimes go in circles.
I don’t know either. The player’s pilot is drunk, clearly. Come on, do I have to start reciting songs again? “Oh it’s, a small world after all…” Thank you. Alright time for form 2! This is going to be hard.
I insulted the UFO’s pilot earlier. GET READY. FIGHT! FATALITY! …
That was a bit of a anti-climax. Pretty damn funny. How drunk does the big laser guy
have to be to shoot down his own…. OI! NOT COOL BIG LAZER GUY. That’s it. Bring it.
Come at me bro. You’re going down.
Right after this badly edited sequence. Ok folks, time for the final boss! I think this is the third time he’s graced
my channel. He’s just that awesome.
Clearly. So, the strategy to this epic encounter..
this final boss to end all final bosses…. … is to sit there in front of it. Now in all fairness.
It does have one attack that can hit you. OMG IT’S A SLOW MOVING PROJECTILE,
WE’RE DOOMED. Phew. Panic over. OH MY GOD IT’S DOING IT AGAIN!
ARRGGGH! I can’t take much more of this! No. GOD. NO. PLEASE NOT THE FIREBALL. OMG THAT WAS SO HARD I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST BEAT IT
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG. Well. That was. Interesting.
I don’t think I’ll make a habit of this.
What, no power ups and all. I’m sure i’ve seen this ending before. You know. Like in that other space shooter I played.
And maybe that other space shooter I played.
Or the one before that. Man. What a epic ending.
At first I thought it wasn’t going to explode, but
then, BOOM! I am content. Well, that was my first try at
commentating a Boss Run. Worth doing in the future?
Let me know. And. Commentry ends.
Thanks for watching! I said. Commentry ends. What’s wrong with you? Oh hey the screen changed. Cue oddly drawn anime chick. Gotta love that bright pink armour.
Gee, I guess the character is female then. It’s a bit hard to tell with that back breaker you
call a chest. So, again. I bid you a farewell, thanks for watching!