Dad Jokes with Kratos

Dad Jokes with Kratos


I am at terrified of elevators. I am going to start taking steps to avoid
them. That one’s pretty good [beautiful laughter] [cough] I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me. Why did they put a gate on Helheim? Because people were dying to get in. [sound of Stargate actor Christopher Judge enjoying dad jokes] Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they are shellfish, boy. What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer. [delightful chuckles] I don’t trust stairs. They are always up to something. What do dark elves learn in kindergarten? The elfabet. What, Atreus, is brown and sticky? A stick. [best laugh]
Kratos: Only fire when i tell you to fire. Atreus: I’m sorry. Kratos: Hi sorry, I am dad. [Applause and hugs]

100 thoughts on “Dad Jokes with Kratos”

  1. A Serpent guard, a Horus guard and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose…drips.

  2. if disney couldn't get James Earl Jones to play Mufasa in the new lion king, they probably would've gotten Christopher Judge. It would be almost perfect!

  3. Wait till the rest of the world sees n white game dude being voiced by a black dude. Hahahaha. Fck this little mermaid racism stuff get a load of this. Phaaahahahahahaha

  4. Kratos: Why did they put a gate on helheim? because people were dying to get in
    Ghost of heheim: please kill me…. Oh wait

  5. Christopher judge killing it in serious roles like teal’c and kratos but being the funniest guy in the room shows you how great an actor he is

  6. Oh dear, that's too good, I'd hear the entirety of Argonian Maid only recited by this mans voice and still enjoy it all the same

  7. A Serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent guard's eyes glow. The Horus guard's beak glistens. The Setesh guard's nose drips.

  8. I don't know, I still think his best joke is: "A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard, and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. There is a moment of tension. The Serpent Guard's eyes gleam. The Horus Guard's beak glistens. The Setesh Guard's nose drips."

  9. The_Fringed_Israelite The_Fringed_Israelite

    The Spartans/ Lacedaemonians were men of the HEBREW ISRAELITE RACE (𐤉𐤔𐤓𐤀𐤋𐤉𐤌). They were Israelite men from the southern kingdom of Israel; Judah, Benjamin and Levi, not pale skinned, Edomite males.
    1 Maccabees 12:20-21 (KJVA)
    “Areus king of the Lacedaemonians to Onias the high priest, greeting: “It is found in writing, that the Lacedemonians (Spartans) and Jews (Israelites) are brethren, and that they are of the stock of Abraham:”

  10. This video reminded me of the first time I rid in an elevator, it was a really uplifting experience.

    The second time let me down though.

  11. This video reminded me of the first time I rid in an elevator, it was a really uplifting experience.

    The second time let me down though.

  12. This video reminded me of the first time I rid in an elevator, it was a really uplifting experience.

    The second time let me down though.

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