Honest Trailers – Predator (1987)

Honest Trailers – Predator (1987)

From the Michael Bay of the 80’s but better comes a film that combines the best action, the best horror, and the best handshake in all of human history. “You son of a bitch.” So does anyone else grow a mustache every time they watch that? Deep in the heart of the Central American jungle, where no one can hear you sweat profusely, something is hunting men for sport, and that something would’ve been an awesome mystery… if they didn’t show a spaceship in the first scene. “There’s something in those trees.” It’s an alien. “Those eyes then, they’re disappearing.” Yup, alien. Saw the ship. “There’s something out there waiting for us, and it ain’t no man.” OK, fine, I’ll do what YouTube comments do. Movie starts at 1:29. Join an elite squad of assassins. “We’re a rescue team, not assassins.” Uh-huh. “Stick around.” There’s Billy, the jacked-up, macho Native American, Blain, the jacked-up, macho redneck, Mac and Dillon, the jacked-up, macho black guys, Poncho, the jacked-up, macho Latino, Hawkins, the screenwriter they wanted on set for Punch Up, and their leader Dutch, a jacked-up, badass, cigar chomping Kevin McCallister. “Come and get me before I call the police!” “C’MON, KILL ME, I’M HERE!” Keep the change, you filthy animal. Yaugh! Thrill as they’re up against the ultimate enemy: Jean-Claude Van Damme in a stupid lobster costume. Yup, that really happened. But once he got fired, they went up against the real ultimate enemy: the Predator, a perfect mix of awesome creature design, S&M mesh bodysuit, and Vincent Price laugh, who uses advanced technology to hunt the equivalent of fish in a barrel. Yeah, I guess he’s less cool when you realize he’s like those yuppies who shoot giraffes with a sniper rifle. So before you see The Predator, revisit THE Predator that’s never been improved on in its sequels and could be released in theaters today because it’s aged so well “Bunch of slack-jawed f*ggots around here.” (uh, mostly well), because in an action-horror movie this good with so many iconic lines “I ain’t got time to bleed.” “Knock knock.” “You’re one ugly motherf*cker.” “GET TO THE CHOPPAH!” and such an iconic movie monster, you’ll barely even notice that half the film is just quietly… looking… at trees. “There’s something in those trees.” IT’S AN ALIEN! “My men are not expendable.” You changed, Arnold. You changed.

100 thoughts on “Honest Trailers – Predator (1987)”

  1. Which iconic Arnold line is the best of all time?

    One: Speak up and join the conversation- we encourage respectful debate.
    Two: Respect your community- racism, misogyny, homophobia and hate speech aren’t tolerated.
    Three: β€œBe nice.” – Dalton from Roadhouse

  2. I like this but you seem to forget they didn't see the ship we did so why do you think they would know its an alien?

  3. LOL πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

  4. After watching this movie in the theater, my girlfriend and I went to park. I tried to make love to her, but I couldn't get hard. There was just no way I could compare to all of those testosterone musclebound dudes with massive guns.

  5. Love how you all pay homage to such a staple of pop culture but still get is some hilarious barbs. "50% of the movie is people looking up at tree…" I lost it there!

  6. Predator Minute Podcast

    The opening spaceship flyby is forgettable enough by the time the team hits the guerrilla trail, but the actual trailer for this movie unrelentingly tells you that something beyond human is hunting the team. People nowadays complain about how trailers give away too much of a movie's plot, but that has been going for a long time.

  7. jennifer b.awesome

    The piece of shits at 2:23 are more like monsters than the monster in the movie! That is so sad and they're all posing like they're badasses that just did some awesome thing but really they're all small minded cowards!!!

  8. "Run Go get to da chopah" "If it bleeds we can kill it" ""stick around" "They are dug in like alabama ticks" "Sexual Tyrannosaurus just like me"

  9. 2:23 thats very offensive and insensitive – Predator at the very least hunts only prey that has legit means to fight back. He has "hunters honor"

  10. Emily Marie Clerico

    How much longer will I have to wait to get a Jordan Peele’s Us Honest Trailer. I cannot even sleep anymore please

  11. The movie seriously would have been much better if they hadn't shown the space ship at the beginning…people would have gone in thinking it was just some typical action 80's flick then had their minds blown.

  12. Guy kills a scorpion and it's heat signature fades out…"anytime"…."anytime"…

    Loved that scene when i was stoned….so trippy…but scientifically inaccurate from what I've come to understand. Something about scorpions not retaining their own body heat & relying on rocks to stay warm, etc.

  13. You're darn tootin' they could re-release it now. I caught the 30th anniversary showing at my local cinema a couple years ago, and it looked superb.

  14. Instructor Irving Tony Campos Lugo

    Fuck me, that movie is so good building suspence and tension that honestly I never realized a lot of times they only look at trees LOL, fuck I miss those good old days of the 80's action movies

  15. Honest Trailer for the 'Smokey and the Bandit' trilogy! – Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

  16. "Michael Bay of 80s" is an insult. "But better" is still an insult to John McTiernan. You're talking about a man who made two of the greatest action movies of all time. And The Hunt for Red October… and Last Action Hero which was ahead of its time. You should give the man a lot more credit.

  17. Remember it well, the first R rated movie my dad took my brother and I to see, just after he and my mother split up (mom didn't want us watching it). Man what a great weekend that was. Jesus, that was a million years ago it seems. Thanks for everything daddy!

  18. Omg.. Kevin McCallister…
    Also, the spaceship scene was cut when I saw the movie on CD. The alien was a big surprise.
    Honestly, this movie was amazing and it's one of the reasons I started watching Hollywood movies.

  19. NeuroticPixieSlasher

    Arnold has not "Changed" – he is not part of the Expendables, who are led by Stallone. Get your testosterone-packed action flicks straight >:(

  20. why don't you guys make an Honest Trailer for Commando? that would be so badass; last time i caught it on TV, my body fat turned into muscle mass just from watching it.

  21. Wait a second… movie made in the 80's and it has quite a diverse cast that didnt feel forced as hell. Movies were so good back in the day.

  22. Which one would scare me the most chasing me in the woods: Marv Merchants or the Predator? Marv Merchants the brains behind the Wet Bandits.

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