if you guys wouldn’t mind I’d just like to write up my weekly
“Thank You Notes,” right now. Is that cool with you guys?
[ Cheers ] You guys are the best. James, can I have some thank you
note writing music please? -Wow.
-Wow. -Unbuttoned and everything.
-It looks like he’s in a good mood.
[ Laughter ] ♪♪ Thank you “Avengers: Endgame,”
for making billions of dollars or as it’s also known,
the reverse Trump. [ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] A billion dollars?
-Billion, billion, billion. ♪♪ -Thank you,
having the name Archie Harrison
Mountbatten-Windsor for being the quickest
way to teach the royal baby the entire alphabet. [ Cheers and applause ] Long name. Thank you new Pokémon movie or
as Bradley Cooper calls it, “I just want to take another
peek at you.” [ Cheers and applause ]
-Come on! Come on! [ Cheers and applause ]
Give it up. ♪♪ [ Applause ] -What? Is that your pointer?
What is that? -I have no idea
what this thing is at all. [ Laughter ]
what is this thing? -I think it was
a proctologist sketch. [ Laughter ] -Weird props back there. ♪♪ Thank you, biking to work,
for letting my co-workers see exactly which of my sweat glands
are the most active. [ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] ♪♪ Thank you, chargers so large
they take up more than one plug, for being the man spreaders of
the electrical outlets. [ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] ♪♪ -Thank you golf announcers,
for being the original ASMR. [ Laughter ]
[ Applause ] He’s on the green
and this is for par. He’s on the green
and this is for par. [ Laughter ] My Facebook’s on.
I think I’m getting poked. [ Laughter ] -Come on, I’m an old man.
-“I’m an old man.” What do you want me to do?
[ Laughter ] Thank you giant group text’s,
for giving my pants a chance to vibrate
for a full hour. [ Laughter ] There you go those are
my thank-you notes.