Thank You Notes: Skrulls from Captain Marvel, Gas Station Convenience Stores

Thank You Notes: Skrulls from Captain Marvel, Gas Station Convenience Stores

-I was running a bit behind
today, so I thought, if you guys wouldn’t mind,
I’d just like to write out my weekly thank-you notes
right now. Is that cool with you guys? [ Cheers and applause ] Hey, James, can I get some
thank-you-note-writing music, please?
[ Slow music plays ] That’s more than enough.
Thank you, James. That’s enough. Thank you, James.
-That’s good. [ Laughter ] Man. -More than enough.
-Look at me. Look at me. -More than enough. Yeah. [ Laughter ] Guess it’s the “James Show”
all of a sudden. -Yeah, I guess. [ Laughter ] [ Slow music plays ] -Thank you, giving things up
for Lent, or as it’s also known, “Let’s Try This New Year’s
Resolution One More Time.” [ Music stops ] I’m gonna give up chocolate
again. -Yeah, no chocolate. [ Vocalizes ] -I’m a chocoholic.
-Really? I’m an alcoholic. [ Laughter ] Sad, isn’t it?
-Mine’s cute. -Oh, well. Mine’s cute, too.
Mm. -[ Laughs ] Gosh. [ Slow music plays ] Thank you, Skrulls from
the new “Captain Marvel” movie, for looking how I feel
the day after St. Patrick’s Day. It’s like…
[ Laughter, applause ] [ Laughs ]
[ Slow music plays ] Thank you, Ferrero Rocher,
for being the only candy that’s pronounced
like you already have it stuck in your teeth. Like, [mumbling]
“It’s Ferrero Rocher.” [ Deep voice ] Ferrero Rocher.
-That Tom Brokaw? -[ Normally ] Yeah. [ Slow music plays ] Thank you, people who order
gluten-free beer at a bar, for finding the perfect way
to let people know that you care about your health,
but not really. [ Laughter, applause ]
[ Music stops ] -Eh. [ Slow music plays ] -Thank you, Emergen-C, or as
people in their 20s call it, health insurance.
[ Laughter, applause ] [ Music stops ]
Preventative. -Yeah. [ Slow music plays ] -Thank you, paper straws,
for giving me a good two sips before I’m just sucking
on wet cardboard. [ Laughter, applause ]
[ Music stops ] -Is that
the last thank-you note? -What’s that?
[ Laughter ] This here? No, it’s probably —
Yeah, it might be the last one. Just for now, though.
-Okay. -Yeah, I mean,
it’ll be back next Friday with all fresh thank-you notes.
-Oh. Oh, my God. I’m so relieved.
[ Laughter ] I thought that was gonna be
the last thank-you note. Of all time. -No, no. Just now. Just tonight.
-Oh, okay. Just for today. ‘Cause you did a bunch of them
before… so now there’s no more
in the pile. Should’ve used my brain. That’s the last one. I gotcha now, chief. All up here. -I wasn’t —
-Io capisco. Right here, baby. -Wasn’t even like a —
-A quiz? A test? -Yes, it was not a quiz
or a test. -No, ’cause I figured it out. I passed the test.
That’s the last thank-you note. Go for it. Knock it out of the park. -[ Chuckles ] -No pressure. [ Laughter ] [ Slow music plays ]
-Thank you, gas station convenience stores, for always being there
in case I need a phone charger, a map, or some bootleg Viagra
with a dragon on it. There you go, everybody.
Those are my thank-you notes!

80 thoughts on “Thank You Notes: Skrulls from Captain Marvel, Gas Station Convenience Stores”

  1. Not bad:D. (Yeah, meant it spelled as such) . . .. . Thee "Skraull"… wait wait, "Skraull" No, no. .. . "Paddy'sFoolGhoul"
    Saint Paddy Himself would not even wish upon his worst for his worst to eye up in the mornin' to a sure fire goblin of ugliness.

  2. The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon can you pleAse invite korean Male Group โ€˜ iKON โค๏ธโ€˜ to your show !!

  3. Hey guys ๐Ÿ˜€
    I'm DayBreak and I produce EDM. Please sub, help me out, listen to my music ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Š
    I would love your support. Thanks already ๐Ÿ˜Šโ˜บ

  4. The charger for dl-ing Grindr, the map for finding all the local pickle-parks, and the dragon Viagra for when you hook up.

  5. preparingforparadise

    Just like the Oscars, there's no need for a host. There's gotta be a something out there that's a little more original and a lot more entertaining

  6. Idk if I hate how scripted this show is or how bad the acting is that proves its scripted. Its not even done ironically its just season after season of Jimmy Fallon's SNL laugh breaks. Higgins is always gold though!

  7. Interesting fun fact: people living in the german region of the โ€žWesterwaldโ€œ (western forest) would pronounce Ferrero Rocher the exact same way! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. Lawrence Petersen

    I would add โ€œthank you tolkien trailer for making me realize that iโ€™ve been mispronouncing tolkien all these yearsโ€

  9. Shawn&Inna Barrett

    by the way major youtube companies and such makes money from advertising nd so that means they also help peopel on youtube make money so that affects many people on you tube as well small peopel posting videos. so what are these type of ideas with various sharikovs?

    maybe there is sharikov in al of us but we need to see it.

  10. Suppose you visited an Asian country and learned that the government was busy importing millions upon millions of non-Asians into the country.
    Supposed you were told that non-Asians were projected to be a majority in the country within a few decades.
    Suppose you found that Asians were called "racists" if they objected to this.
    Wouldn't you say to yourself, "What's going on here?"?
    Now change "Asian" to "White" and that's exactly what's happening in ALL White countries and ONLY in White countries. It's White genocide.
    Anti-racist is a codeword for anti-White.

  11. I have not watched thank you notes in a while, like a year or two, but a lot is the same. Is it a new thing where Higgins interrupts the last one several times?

  12. Ornella Giaccarini

    If people order gluten free beer at a bar it's probably because they can't drink normal beer, not because it's "healthier"… like celiacs, it's a disease guys, not a choise

  13. When politicians talk about "diversity," what they always mean is "fewer White people."
    When they say "Diversity is our greatest strength," what they mean is "White people are our greatest weakness."
    Diversity means chasing down every last White person.
    Diversity is a codeword for White genocide.
    Anti-racist is a codeword for anti-White.

  14. Well now I'm crying thinking about the day Jimmy does his last thank you note. As if I wasn't depressed enough from Marvel๐Ÿ˜ญ

  15. Dear jimmy

    For the past four days I been anxiously checking all media outlets for at least one show to cover the most horrific mascaras at Christchurch mosque in new Zealand. Unfortunately not even a single day time or night show did a monologue about what happened to the Muslims. While it sadden me to write you for the first time about such a tragic event please do something to raise awareness about islamophobia.

    Thank you for your great help and looking forward to response.

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