The only XFL championship was also the worst

The only XFL championship was also the worst


– The XFL was awesome in theory and terrible in every other way. Players risked their
physical and mental health in a poorly conceived,
poorly run sport’s league overseen by someone that
looked like a blown out tire got its wish to be human. Where every team’s goal was to make the Million Dollar Game, which when divvied up
actually gave each champion less than what the losing
side of the NFL Pro Bowl gets. Despite the failed experiment, giving us only one option to pick from, there were more potholes
than road on their path to failure. So there’s really no
other way to consider it. This is the worst XFL Championship. 420 plus 1, 2001. The Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California
hosted the Million Dollar Game to decide the XFL’s
inaugural champion. The best that the league had to offer suited up for one final time. That is, until next season,
which as of this game was definitely, definitely, happening. We’ve got the Los Angeles
Xtreme, in their home stadium, led by former NFL first-round pick Tommy Maddox. To win the big
bucks, they’d need to take down their in-state rival,
the San Francisco Demons, who finished the regular
season a healthy 5-and-5. That’s healthy by XFL
standards, which operated much like a doctor who believed the cure for a concussion
was a second, larger concussion to knock the first one out. While I know there’s a
lot of X-heads watching, we should take a slight step back. A refresher course, if you will. Definitely not a rewind. The XFL was imagined as a way to fill the hole created by the
end of the NFL season. On paper, it’s a smart move. I mean, if you like
football, then you must hate the NBA and NHL. The start of baseball, March Madness, the Winter Olympics, if they’re on, they’re just not football. So, Vince McMahon got
some friends together and fixed sports forever. It’s important to note that
while the players and games were definitely Xtreme,
the Xtreme football league was actually something totally different from the XFL. That was an organization
that started two years before this and immediately merged
with the Arena Football League. The X, in this XFL, actually
didn’t stand for anything. Although, McMahon did have this great joke about how since the NFL
is the no fun league, then the XFL was the extra fun league, which I’m sure killed. The league attempted to work as such: there were eight teams in two divisions, with ten weeks of regular
season and no byes. Four teams made the playoffs, and the winners of round
one went on to play in the big game at the end. Like, that originally was the actual name of their championship. The Big Game at the End. They, unfortunately, changed
it to the Million Dollar Game, which somehow feels both
more and less accurate, but whatever. Teams were given cool names
like the Orlando Rage, Memphis Maniax or the Birmingham Blast Sorry, actually that last
one had to be changed because of how incredibly
insensitive it was considering the 16th Street
Baptist Church bombing and other terrorist
attacks that have occurred in Birmingham, so they
became the Thunderbolts. But, they got that
settled before the season. They’re off to a really good start. They weren’t. Once the real games began, we discovered what football was meant to be. Super sexy. Super reckless. No penalties for roughness. Some MTV ass camera work. The ability to put whatever you wanted on your name plate, including
your actual last name if you had nothing to hide. A sky cam, okay, actually
the sky cam, that rules. Use that for everything. 14 million people tuned
in to witness history in February 2001, which began with this
scramble for the ball instead of some archaic coin toss. As the season went on,
for whatever reason, there were tons of injuries, and yes, while football
is a challenging sport, this type of football
was made even tougher by a roster limit of 38 players. But the trade off was excitement. In the first round of the
playoffs, San Francisco played the Orlando
Rage, led by Jeff Braum, a quarterback who was
also under contract with the Cleveland Browns because why not? Despite a regular season
league best record of 8-and-2, Orlando blew a 16-nothing
lead to the underdog Demons, and we got our first championship team. As for the Los Angeles Xtreme, they score 13 unanswered
in the final eight minutes to beat Chicago by 17. Setting up the California showdown, and ensuring a packed house, which we never really saw because they insisted
on interview angles that didn’t show the stands, or when they showed the
stands it was all close ups, like this, of smaller packed sections, but it’s probably totally safe to assume the Coliseum was just jam packed. As Jose Cortez got us underway
with the opening kick off we were immediately
greeted by the one sided ineptitude that would
bless us on this day. After completely mangling their return, then doing nothing worth showing, San Francisco blasted a
punt that put Los Angeles all the way back at the Demons 40. The Xtreme had a great chance to Oh my god, stop it, look
at this guy, look at this unit, yes! He is all the matters now. Okay, back to the game. Their offense didn’t do much. Kicked a field goal. Cool. Our first points. Up to this point, aside from Big Daddy, this has been pretty normal. It has resembled football, but just, try to remember
the good times that we had. On San Fran’s second drive, we got to see what the XFL was all about. Our first injury of the game, which didn’t look great, but
we thankfully got an update not long after from this sideline reporter that we’re going to get to know. – Luckily for San Francisco,
they did activate five wide receivers for this
week, unlike last week when they were shorthanded when Travis had cramping problems. – In case you missed it,
his microphone is being fed into the stadium
so literally everyone, including the injured player next to him can hear him perfectly. Who signed off on this idea? Just look at that goddamn death stare. Couple plays later, another
Demon wide receiver got hurt. And the drive stalled out. LAX took over and Maddox
quickly drove them down the field, hitting his
halfback Frank Leatherwood, which is a real name, to
get them inside the 10. Then, connected with another
halfback, Josh Wilcox, for this short touchdown,
plus a solid elbow drop. By the way, that dude’s dad
is in the NFL Hall of Fame, so really carrying the torch, Josh. On the ensuing drive, we saw
some of the most XFL action of the day. The Demons took a huge sack, which looked like the
visual equivalent of the Benny Hill theme song. Then, facing third and 31, their
quarterback punted the ball because in the XFL any punt that travels more than 25 yards can be
recovered by either team for possession. The Xtreme were caught off guard and the first guys to get back collided, but one of their teammates grabbed it and just straight up took it back for a touchdown. – You talk about a backfire! You talk about a plan gone bad! (whistle) – Now, with almost too much time left, San Francisco finally,
kind of, got a drive going. Down 16, they had to
settle for a field goal, but hey, points are points, and anything, oh my, that
was a field goal attempt? – He didn’t even get that
10 feet up into the air. – Oh ya, somehow, I didn’t mention, that was in fact, Jesse Ventura, talking, one of the commentators for tonight. From there, we got a sideline
interview with the kicker right after the miss, which was, again, piped
through the stadium for everyone to hear. And LA was able to hit another field goal, with not much time left on the clock. But, instead of San Francisco
kneeling out the half to regroup, they tried to do something. And ended up throwing an interception and giving up a long
return that let the Xtreme attempt a 50 yard field goal, which naturally Cortez hit, since he’s actually very
good at what he does, unlike the San Francisco Demons. The second half was more of the same. A Demon got penalized
for punching an opponent because the XFL does still have limits. Maddox got in the spirit and
threw a goal-line interception, which led to San
Francisco botching a punt, and giving LA the ball at the 25. Maddox redeemed himself with a touchdown, and then we got a very
sexy four pump celebration. The Demons followed that up
with another interception, which brought about a quarterback change, and before you ask, yes
we did get an interview with the quarterback immediately
after he was benched. That was, again, blasted
out for the entire stadium to hear. – Well, you know, we’re not
getting it done on offense if the back can give
some spark, then I say give him a spark. – So, just to give that interview
some historical context, that quarterback would
never play football again, it would be revealed that he
played a chunk of the season with a fractured vertebra in his neck and his send off is a live interview immediately after he got benched. Back to the game. Cortez kicked yet another field goal, his fourth of the day. Then, San Francisco couldn’t
collect the kick off, so again, LA ball. In the middle of the next
drive, Maddox got pulled I guess, so the massive
die hard home crowd could pay their respects. Then his back up couldn’t get it done and they settled for another field goal, but completely botched this one and it ended with an interception. That pick was followed by
another San Francisco pick, which makes it roughly a
baker’s dozen on the day. LA’s coach got drenched in football milk with five minutes remaining. LA scored another TD
on a running back pass. San Francisco’s quarterback
suffered an injury when there was already no hope. The entire Xtreme sideline
was already wearing hats that said Champion and at this point, San
Francisco had had enough. Their third string quarterback took over and actually made a great
athletic play to get into the end zone and prevent the team from getting goosed. They rode his hot hand into
a three point conversion attempt, which is just
one play from the 10. And we got the real ending
that this game deserved. An LA interception that
was nearly returned all the way, by a dude who’s nameplate just said Tink. One kneel down made official
what their hats already read and with that the curse
of the XFL was lifted from this country. Within a month, it was
announced that the league would be no more. Everyone involved lost money. Vince McMahon admitted
it was a total failure, and then not even 20 years later everything was forgotten
because America loves reboots. – The new XFL will kick off in 2020 and quite frankly, we’re
going to give the game of football back to fans. – So, while theoretically
this game will have some competition for the title of worst, it feels pretty safe that
this 60 minute dump fest will hang on to what it earned, or we can only hope because anything that tops this is guaranteed to be a real turd.
I

100 thoughts on “The only XFL championship was also the worst”

  1. Those field goals by José Cortez, he was the MVP of the Million Dollar Game, just looked it up, good job José Cortez. Got him some contracts as back up kicker in NFL.

  2. The Lurchness Monster !!

    LAs last football championship ended 38-6…
    LAs last Super Bowl ended 38-9…
    LAs last NBA Championship ended with the Lakers scoring 83 points….

    Illuminati confirmed!!(cue the X-Files music🎶) 😎👽

  3. To troll the XFL, the day after their championship game (if they make it that far) you should do "The Best XFL Championship Game" and just rerelease this video.

  4. Here's the thing about the XFL; they rushed it, they shouldn't have just threw the league together, but they also shouldn't have poked so much fun at the NFL neither. Those 2nd week games showed that given time to gel they could play ball, but they were trying to put so much WWF into XFL, and while the WWF was hot at the time, I didn't want to see the 2 combined. I do look forward to seeing the league come back, this time I hope Vince does it right

  5. And what happened to the one decent player in that game, kicker Jose Cortez? Well, he became an Oregon State Trooper, and:
    https://www.oregonlive.com/oregon-city/2013/05/trooper_in_i-205_stop_loses_jo.html
    Well, he plead guilty to misconduct after being accused of fondling a woman during a traffic stop. Xtra Fun indeed.

  6. iknowyouarebutwhatami

    I am legitimately curious to see how incredibly low the narrator's testosterone levels are. It's really annoying to watch and listen to such a pansy.

  7. God I felt so bad for that first receiver lol, wouldn’t have blamed him if he limped his way over to the dude with the mic and kicked his ass

  8. Vince, you barely give pro wrestling – sorry – SPARTS ENTAHTAINMENT – back to the fans, what hope do we have of you giving football back to fans?

  9. I was only a toddler when the original XFL came out. After doing studying the things of the original XFL it was a football version of the WWE and they obviously fixed the games and focused mainly on the cheerleaders not the football game

  10. Figueroa Rury Laquinta

    I heard Vince was Pitched wwe a show WWE WCW LIVE every Thurs and Friday WWE ECW Live. Vince said No bring Back the XFL somthing we Invested in & Failed at Lets do it again But this time lest Fail Harder at a time he should be consintraiting on Wrestling as a Target like AEW on youre back Lets of Off the Map and start a Foktball league Sounds good enough lets do it lets Fail

  11. You can't introduce a league with a logo that screams WWF, with team logos/uniforms looking worse than 2k create-a-team content, and expected vested interested… It reeks of cheapness and white trash

  12. Can we also talk about the fact that arguably the best sports announcer today in Matt Vasgersian used to call this train-wreck league?

  13. It was also the best by that standard then, since it was the only one, it can subjectively be considered the best AND worst at the same time.

  14. I was young when the XFL title game happened, but I remember this game being very exciting. A high scoring close game if my memory serves. EDIT: Then I watched the vid and I guess my memory does not serve. I could have swore both teams had high 20s-mid 30s in point totals… huh

  15. The Idiot Trump wants to form the AWFL next year – the All White Football League, also called AWFuL football. Get your tickets early! Actually, tickets will ALWAYS be available, no problem…lol.

  16. Angeleeese ? Disliked purely on your retarded pronunciation of one of the most commonly spoken cities in the United States .

  17. Christian Apolinario I guess

    If it is the first and only championship, it was the worst, best, most mediocre, weirdest, coolest, ugliest, etc XFL championship.

  18. The soy boy narrating this has tattoos…..that means he's Xtreme. The only torch he carries is his boyfriends in his mouth

  19. Formula X: All cars will use a twin-turbo V8 engine. Cars may not be designed to deliberately cause other cars to DNF. Other than that, there are no regulations; most creative method of getting speed/downforce (voted by the fans) gets a bonus pot of $32 million at the halfway point, and at the end of the season; the innovation bonuses total $64M.

    Basically, the rules are written to allow teams to come up with anything they can to get ahead, and crazy ways of getting around the rules are encouraged.

  20. Can we please get interviews the moment someone throws a pick or gets benched in the NFL? That would be great. I don't think Vince will have much luck this time around either. He's watered down his wrestling after CTE made Chris Benoit murder his family. Now there is only a bigger spotlight on that. I see no way this ends in nothing but sadness for Vince.

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